8 Ways To Say I Love You
1. Spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night’s clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it.
2. Sigh it into her mouth, wedged in between teeth and tongues. Don’t even let your lips move when you say it, ever so lightly, into the air. Maybe it was just an exhalation of ecstasy.
3. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolate. Buy her a teddy bear, because that’s what every romantic comedy has taught you. Take her out to a nice restaurant where neither of you feel comfortable and spend the whole night clearing your throat and tugging at your tie. Feel like your actions are more suited to a proposal than the simple confession of something you’ve always known.
4. Whisper it into her hair in the middle of the night, after you’ve counted the space between her breaths and are certain she’s asleep. Shut your eyes quickly when she shifts toward you in askance. Maybe you were just sleep whispering.
5. Blurt it out in the middle of an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, as clumsy as your two left feet. When time seems to freeze, hastily tack on “in that shirt” or “when you make your award-winning meatballs” or, if you are feeling particularly brave, “when we do this.” Resume dancing and pretend you don’t feel her eyes on you the rest of the night.
6. Write her a letter in which the amount of circumnavigating and angst could rival Mr. Darcy’s. Debate where to leave it all day – on her pillow? In her coat pocket? Throw it away in frustration, conveniently leaving it face up in the trashcan, her name scrawled on the front in your sloppy handwriting. Let her wonder if you meant it.
7. Wait until something terrible has happened and you can’t not tell her anymore. Wait until she almost gets hit by a car crossing Wabash against the light and after you are done cursing at the shit-for-brains cab drivers in this city, realize you are actually just terrified of living without her. Tell her with your hands shaking.
8. Say it deliberately, your tongue a springboard for every syllable. Over coffee, brushing your teeth side-by-side, as you turn off the light to go to sleep – it doesn’t matter where. Do not adorn it with extra words like “I think” or “I might.” Do not sigh heavily as if admitting it were a burden instead of the most joyous thing you’ve ever done. Look her in the eyes and pray, heart thumping wildly, that she will turn to you and say, “I love you too.”"
WHY IS WALKING PAST STRANGERS SO STRESSFUL
can you imagine what would happen if arthur weasley discovered google
The Harry Potter books are set in the early 90’s. I bet that he discovered the Internet around 2000, and was captivated. He probably spent years getting the Ministry to adopt wi-fi, and now he spends his lunch breaks perusing Wikipedia. At home he has a state-of-the-art computer rig with like four massive monitors and he marathons “How It’s Made” on Netflix.
"you need to make this appointment yourself"
Put one foot in front of the other. No matter how much haze, how much fog, how many walls are in your way. If you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will knock the walls down. You’ll get to the other side.
you’re such a life ruiner: hayley williams - “you don’t need anyone’s permission to be exactly who you want to be.”
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.
so now this makes sense…
fer ernerone who asks. lerve yer xo
So basically, somehow I ended up on the phone with Chris Hardwick (you know, The Talking Dead!!!) and he goes to me… “We got one of the girls from Big Bang Theory, Swedish Chef from The Muppets, and then we wrote a song in tribute to the Gersberms meme…” And I said, “:-o I like all those things.” He goes, “You wanna sing the hook?” And I was like “YEP!”
This was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed getting out of the Album-Making world to just do something that didn’t require me thinking or writing anything for it. Just a regular afternoon singing a love song to Gersberms. Thanks to Chris for letting me sing that line. Weirdest thing that I’ve ever sung and that’s coming from someone who sang on a Sim’s soundtrack…
the bumpiest of goosebumps